


say something

by written_you_down



Series: nostalgic. [6]
Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Sunrises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/written_you_down/pseuds/written_you_down
Summary: Kyle is such a cliche.
Relationships: Kyle Simmons/Dan Smith
Series: nostalgic. [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754833
Comments: 14
Kudos: 25





	say something

Kyle is a lucky guy. 

He basically has his dream job. He isn’t rich, but he makes enough money that he doesn’t have to think twice about making rent. Enough that he doesn’t feel guilty that he has a closet full of trainers. Trainers he’s bought from all parts of the world. It’s wicked. He’s seen places that he never dreamed he’d see. Places that look like screen savers on monitors, pictures in text books. 

Sure, he doesn’t have a ton of time off, but he’s not one to complain about that. Everyone in the band seem to be of one mind on their possible shelf life. Who knows how long there will be interest in them? Who knows when the tickets will stop selling? There are people paying attention to them now and the guys are all committed to playing as many shows as they can. Given the choice between something as mundane as sleep verses traveling the globe and meeting tons of people each day, who genuinely seem to love their music… well, there’s no choice in that at all. Not really. Kyle reckons that he can sleep when he’s dead. He’s certainly not going to waste any time on it at present —not when he was working and not even when he had actual honest to god time off as he did now. 

Which is why he was awake at three in the morning on a rare day off, to catch a sunrise. He was in Yosemite for a few days with a group of mates he grew up with. Kyle knew it was a complete cliche to go to America, to one of its national parks, especially when he soon would be spending months in the country once the tour started up, but he didn’t care. He and Dan had watched a documentary on the park recently and Kyle couldn’t get it out of his head. The two of them discussed it endlessly since then though Dan had not been able to join him on this trip. Dan was across the world in India, eating sketchy vegetables on trains and having other misadventures that really could only happen to Dan. They were texting and sending photos, but their mobile reception on both sides was shaky at best. 

With the dodgy phone service in mind, Kyle had downloaded a playlist ahead of time to listen to as the sun rose. He figured if he was going to be a cliche, best just to do the thing properly. A few days before, he’d stumbled on a playlist titled “Strings and Things (Sunrises)” which seemed right enough. He hadn’t bothered to scroll all the way through the list, trusting that whatever was on it, it’d be correct. 

The location for the sunrise was also something he had left up to chance. While on the trails earlier in the week, Kyle chatted with a stranger as they both paused to take a break and drink a bit of water. It was ridiculous how friendly Americans were in general, but they were ten times more so in this park. He had lost track of how many people he had spoken to, everyone all smiles and pleased to be where they were. Kyle could hardly blame them — it truly was a beautiful place. Upon hearing that it was Kyle’s first visit to the park, this bloke in particular insisted that he knew the absolute best, the most choice place to take in a sunrise, that Kyle and his group absolutely must see it. Who was Kyle to argue with that? 

They took the stranger’s recommendation and reached their destination with twenty minutes or so before the sun would make its appearance. Kyle nodded at his friends and they went in slightly different directions to find places to watch the sunrise. Kyle found a log that looked to be stable though fairly ancient. He settled down on top of it, facing a dark mountain that sat across from a lake. The place was nearly deserted, the only company they had was that of the birds who screeched as they dove at the water. Kyle dug his phone from his pocket, his headphones from his backpack and waited. The sounds of violins began to stream into his ears and he looked from left to right. He took in the mountains and watched as the wind made the lake ripple which caused the canoes that were tied to the dock to lightly bob. 

Slowly the sun began to rise, lighting things up in stages. The mountain which had been black began to warm into earth tones. Kyle watched as it turned orange bit by bit as the sun shone, looking as if it were set on fire. In his periphery, Kyle could see that a few people had joined them, couples mostly, from the sight of it, as they were standing close to one another. They were wrapped together, content as they watched… well, to be cliched about it… watched something that looked like a miracle. Seeing the couples reminded him that he was sitting alone, sharing the moment only with his thoughts and his headphones. He lifted his phone and took a few pictures, knowing that he would want to have them later. Knowing that he would send them to Dan. And to his mum. He smiled to himself. But mostly he wanted to send them to Dan. 

Thinking of Dan made Kyle’s mind skip back to the previous week. After endlessly turning it over again and again for what felt years, Dan was finally convinced that they needed to add another member to the band for touring purposes. It led to them sitting through a ton of auditions, searching for the right person. Finally their solution walked on stage in the form of a bloke called Charlie, who seemed to have everything that they needed. Once their vacations were over, they were to begin rehearsing everything with Charlie for a set that would carry them through festival season and then a world tour. Knowing that the next block of his life was booked completely full, Kyle was determined to make the most of this private moment. It would be the last one he had for a long time.

He watched as the sun lit up everything that his eyes could see, his headphones providing a soundtrack. There was silence for a moment as a new song queued up and began to play. Violins and piano filled his ears and then a familiar voice. Kyle laughed softly and glanced down at his phone for confirmation. It was one of their songs, though not an arrangement he had played on, one done with just Dan and a string quartet at Abbey Road. As the song hit its chorus, he closed his eyes for just the briefest second and felt the wind and the words blow over him. God. He was such a cliche and he didn’t even give the slightest fuck about it. He was pretty certain that Dan would cringe if Kyle ever told him that Laura Palmer was the perfect song to listen to while watching an epic sunrise. 

Before long, the sun settled into its proper place. Everything retained its natural, normal, ordinary color. It was then that Kyle realized he had not eaten since the previous day and he was fairly starved. He wandered over to his friends and found them debating the best place to find breakfast. They settled on a bakery that they had passed on the drive in and soon were on their way. Still in a reflective mood, Kyle fell behind and took one last look at the mountain, the lake and everything that surrounded it and was struck by how large everything was when compared to him. He was just one minuscule part of the world. The sun rose in this way, every day whether he was there to see it or not. The thought made him smile and he hurried to catch up to his friends.

Moments later, they were crowded around a tiny table, talking about the things that they had seen and making a mess of their food. As Kyle joined them, croissant and coffee in hand, his phone buzzed and he knew that his mobile was back in service. He sat down, scrolled through his photos and chose the one that felt the most true to what he had just experienced. He quickly sent it with no caption to Dan, hoping that it would find its way before his signal disappeared. He was surprised when his phone immediately vibrated with a response from Dan that simply read “wish I was there.”

Before he could put too much thought into it, Kyle responded at once, hoping that the text would get to Dan straight away. It was important that it reached him now, before the sunrise was too far behind Kyle. It was only a two word reply, but the two words said everything he needed to say.

“you were.”

Kyle Simmons, the most cliched cliche in the history of the universe, proudly at your service.

—

Dan was late.

Everything was in place, instruments tuned, ready to play, but true to form, Dan had not shown up. The guys were scattered around Dan and Mark’s studio space, each settling into their waiting-for-Dan-to-show-up holding patterns. Dan was never one to be on time so it was hardly alarming that he wasn’t there now. They would’ve been far more shocked had they arrived at Jack’s and found him wide eyed and ready to go. 

“Surely, he’s not still in India, is he?” Will wondered as he strummed the strings to his guitar. “Kyle, you’ve seen him, yeah?”

Kyle looked up from his phone. “Actually, no. We’ve only texted. His flight arrived late last night.”

“So technically then, he could still be there. My time to front this band has at long last come.” Will nodded his head as if he was playing at some long con that had finally paid off.

Woody was sprawled across the leather couch, idly twirling a drumstick in and out of his fingers. “You know, I think Charlie’s up for it,” he said. “I’m sure his voice is better suited. He’s had all of two weeks to learn the catalog, he’s ready.”

Charlie laughed and all the three men immediately turned their heads in his direction. They were unprepared for what was the most extraordinarily high pitched fit of glee any of them had ever heard. 

“My new goal for this upcoming tour is to make Charlie laugh at any and all times. That is outstanding,” Will declared. 

“Feel free to completely ignore Will,” Kyle told Charlie. “Much of what is he says is in riddles and is utter nonsense.”

“I know you’re only saying that with the utmost adoration.” Will smirked. “The Riddler was one of the best foes to ever go toe to toe with Batman.”

Woody snorted. “Mate. There hasn’t even been a Riddler onscreen since the 60’s or so.” Woody glanced at Charlie. “You’ll find that all of Will’s pop culture references are from long before any of us were born.” 

“Wasn’t Jim Carrey the Riddler?” Charlie tilted his head in thought. “Course it was the Val Kilmer Batman movie so I don’t know that it actually counts….”

Woody was ready to respond when they heard the door creak open and Dan strolled in. “Sorry! Sorry. I lost —“

“—track of time,” Woody and Will said almost in unison, having grown accustomed to Dan and his excuse. Dan had the decency to shrug sheepishly as he approached the group. 

Though it usually drove him a bit mad, Kyle was so pleased to see Dan that he didn’t care that Dan was late. Kyle didn’t even bother to contain his grin. What did it matter to him if everyone knew he was happy just to be around Dan after their time apart? Kyle was nothing if not a cliche, he had already accepted it. 

Dan went directly to Kyle with a smile that rivaled Kyle’s. “Hey… you” he said fondly and pulled Kyle close in a hug. Kyle wrapped his arms around Dan without a second thought and returned his embrace. 

“Hello there,” Kyle grinned. 

Dan seemed to be in no hurry to release Kyle from his grip and settled his chin on Kyle’s shoulder. “It feels good to be home.”

And while Kyle wasn’t sure exactly what Dan meant by that, he was one hundred percent in agreement. 

—

Kyle glanced around the pub and took a minute to appreciate it. They were each two pints in and settling into the routine that they always fell into when they were together. Dan was telling some ridiculous story from his trip that involved him being on an overnight train with nothing to eat except a handful of dirty vegetables they found prior to boarding. 

“Swear to God, the only thing we had to clean them with was hand sanitizer,” Dan said.

“So you… you were just lubing up a carrot in the dark?” Woody asked, in disbelief.

“It was a cucumber!”

Everyone broke into laughter on both sides of the table that they had gathered around, Charlie by far, was the loudest. Dan raised his eyebrows at Charlie and then looked at Kyle. Kyle nodded, still chuckling. “Yes, that’s how he laughs. He’s not putting on at all.” That only seemed to further amuse Dan and he leaned against Kyle as he erupted into something that sounded like a cackle. 

Kyle lifted his pint into the air and waited for the others to follow suit. Even though the beer in their glasses was at various levels by this point, it felt fitting to toast the moment. “Cheers, mates. To… good times and…” he thought of Dan’s story and added, “and to bad decisions.” The others echoed him and Kyle felt like he had when he watched the sun rise, days earlier— glad to be alive, thankful to be where he was. 

Dan’s phone suddenly buzzed and he checked the screen with a frown. “Sorry. I need to answer this email. Shouldn’t take long.” He effectively checked out from what everyone else was doing as he formed his response. This, too, was nothing new and Kyle watched as everyone carried on around Dan. Will and Woody began taking the piss out of one another, going back and forth. Dan stayed close by Kyle’s side with his phone in hand, brow clouded as he continued to reply to whatever it was that had his attention.

Kyle glanced over at Charlie and was suddenly aware that Charlie was observing him and had caught him staring at Dan for no particular reason. Kyle shrugged and raised his mostly empty glass in Charlie’s direction before drinking. 

“So how long have you two been together?” Charlie asked as he nodded his head at Dan and Kyle. “This entire time?”

Kyle still had his glass to his lips and watched as everyone fell silent. Without looking up from his phone Dan replied in an even, disinterested tone, “Oh, we’re not together.” 

And just like that, Kyle thinks, they’ve had their first real exchange about how they truly feel about things, about each other. Dan doesn’t even give it his full attention while Kyle feels as if the room has collapsed around him. 

Kyle waited for something more from Dan, what that something was, he couldn’t say. Sure, it would’ve been great if Dan could be bothered to put his fucking phone down and look up while breaking his heart in front of everyone. But that aside, what could he really expect from Dan? It wasn’t as if they put a label on anything or even properly discussed it. Still Kyle was having trouble pretending he was fine, pretending that all the air in his lungs hadn’t just suddenly disappeared. 

Charlie’s face flushed red. “Fuck. Sorry, I’ve just noticed how close you two are and thought…”

Kyle looked away from Dan, who was still focused on his phone, and glanced at Charlie. “It’s alright. It’s an easy mistake to make. You’re not the only one to misread it.” Kyle stood up and stepped over the bench he was sitting on. “Excuse me, I need a smoke.” Kyle tried to keep his expression one of indifference as he turned and walked out of the pub.

It was only then that Dan’s attention was caught and he looked up. “Since when is he smoking again?” Dan seemed surprised at the way Will and Woody were regarding him. Charlie looked as if he wished the ground would swallow him whole. “What?” Dan asked. 

Woody shook his head and asked Dan “Are you trying to be a dick on purpose?”

Charlie lifted his hands, palms out, almost as if he was being held hostage. “Right. I need to…. I need to not be in the middle of this. I can see that. So yeah, if you could please not fire me in the meantime…I’ll just go… somewhere…” He stood from his seat and walked off.

Dan watched him go and then faced Woody. “What are you on about?”

“You. You and Kyle.” 

“We, we aren’t together— not like that,” Dan stammered. 

Will spoke up softly, “Does Kyle know that? His face when you dismissed him was… well, it wasn’t great.” 

“For fuck’s sake, Dan.” Woody muttered. “Do _you_ know that you’re not together? I know we’re not supposed to talk about it, but Christ.”

Dan was not interested in pursuing the conversation with Will and Woody. Dan had never discussed it with Kyle, he hardly even allowed himself to think of it. He stared at his bandmates, not knowing what to say. He was angry. He was embarrassed. He needed to talk to Kyle. He left without saying anything further and walked out the door. 

It took Dan’s eyes a minute to adjust the darkness outside, but it didn’t take him long to spot Kyle. He was leaning against a wall, smoking and talking to a woman who stood beside him. Dan approached him and stood in front of them. The woman regarded him and then glanced back at Kyle. “Do you need another one?” she asked, pack in hand. 

“I’m ok. But thank you…. for that and for the chat,” Kyle answered. She nodded and then gave Dan what Dan thought was a bit of a fierce look as she stepped around him. They waited until she disappeared, leaving them alone in what was essentially an alley by the pub. Kyle put the cigarette to his mouth and took a drag, in no hurry to speak first.

Dan sighed, “So you’re back at this again? I thought you were done with it. It took us ages to quit smoking. I thought we were together in that.”

Kyle tilted his chin up and blew smoke away from Dan. “So kind of you to put your phone down and check on me. You’re a real pal, you are. But as you pointed out, we, well…we aren’t together….in any sense of the word.”

“What… what would you have had me say?” Dan wondered. 

Kyle scoffed, “I have no idea. That’s the thing, isn’t it? We never talk about it, do we?” He looked at Dan, but Dan was determined not to meet his sight. “So, what then? We’re the best of mates who snog on momentous occasions? I mean, who doesn’t have friends like that?” Kyle brought the cigarette to his lips again, thankful to the nicotine that still wrapped comfortably around his senses even after a long absence.

“It’s not like that,” Dan replied.

“Then tell me, Dan. How is it?” Kyle could feel fear creep slowly up his spine as he waited for Dan to answer. It felt as if everything hung in the balance and he didn’t want to push Dan, but that was how he landed in this mess in the first place. He was always settling for whatever Dan tossed his way. It was almost enough when he thought they had a mutual understanding. Kyle had thought that Dan felt the same way for him as he did for Dan, but tonight… tonight was making him doubt everything he thought he knew. Jesus Christ. He really was a fucking cliche. He was a _fool_. 

“I, I — can’t do this right now,” Dan said with sadness. “I can’t stand here in a fucking alley watching you blow smoke and attempt to justify myself to you.”

Kyle felt tears in his eyelashes and blinked hard, trying to make them disappear. He didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to admit that it mattered this much to him. Anything that he gave away now would be impossible to take back later. 

“Here’s the thing with you, Dan. You never know what you have, even when it’s right the fuck in front of you.” Kyle took a deep breath and pushed on. “You have this band. You have this success. You have awards. You have sold out shows. You have people who pay money, their hard earned money, to hear you, any time you step on a stage. You have fans. Fuck. You have me. But it doesn’t matter, does it? You can’t see it. You don’t know what you have, even now.” 

Kyle waited. He waited to give Dan a chance to respond. To say something — to say anything at all. He watched as Dan stood, jaw clinched in silence.

And then he found that he couldn’t wait a moment more. 

Kyle turned and walked away from Dan.

**Author's Note:**

> [the sunrise](https://written-you-down-247.tumblr.com/post/622112169182593025)   
>  [Laura Palmer- Abbey Road sessions](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G48mbtPHYXQ)   
>  [cucumber @ 5:04](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zONtRjApT74&t=307s)


End file.
